You're in My Heart, You're in My Stomach

Flashing back on THAT Rod Stewart rumor

Good morning, JTL subscribers!

Because I’m basically 12 years old at heart, I still find things like bodily fluids and emissions intrinsically hilarious. But since I also understand that many people don’t, let me issue the following trigger warning for this post:

If you are easily grossed out by the mention of male reproductive fluid and/or the ingestion thereof, please read no further and wait for the next Jagged Time Lapse entry, which will be along in a few days and — I hereby assure you — will be agreeably devoid of ejaculate.

Everyone else, read on!

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“Awl roit then, laddie; let’s get yer stomach pumped.” Rod Stewart, as rendered by Guy Peellaert in Rock Dreams (1973)

Back in my day, we didn’t need the internet to spread all manner of rumor, falsehood and ignorance. We did it ourselves on the playground.

We held these truths to be self-evident: That “Mikey” from the Life cereal commercials died after chasing an overdose of Pop Rocks candy with a can of Pepsi. That Paul McCartney had been dead for years, replaced by a (remarkably talented) nobody named Billy Shears. That killer bees were swarming from Mexico to the U.S. and would be here by next summer (a rumor repeated every year until we found some other nonsense to be scared about). That Gene Simmons had the tendon under his tongue surgically removed so he could stick it out even further. That Bubble Yum gum had spider eggs in it. That Frank Zappa and Alice Cooper had staged a “gross-out contest” which ended with the latter eating the former’s feces. And, of course, that a gallon of semen had been pumped from Rod Stewart’s stomach.